Making the Devil Lovable (.txt version) [Audio: Projector sound plays throughout] [Title card] “Making the Devil Lovable” [in script font, flanked by illustration of a winged devil] [Cast card] THE DAMSEL, Jason Palmeri. LITERATURE, Ben McCorkle. FILM, Jason Palmeri [Epigraph card] “Mind, the moving picture is not an invention of the devil. There is a great deal in it, at the present stage of its development, that we have to think of with all the optimistic faith summonable in order not to regard it as excessively satanic.”—Robert W. Neal (658) [Opening shot: The pure-hearted DAMSEL walks alongside a country chapel and down a hill to the lake below, a precious book clutched to her bosom. Main piano theme plays throughout.] [DAMSEL sits at bench, reading from book, joyfully exclaiming . . .] [Intertitle] “I LOVE Literature, and I don’t care who knows it!” [DAMSEL continues reading on bench, looks up expectantly as LITERATURE enters frame. The dapper yet priggish LITERATURE proudly announces his arrival, saying . . .] [Intertitle] “My Love, you read me just like a book!” [LITERATURE takes seat on bench alongside DAMSEL, taking her dainty hand in his. DAMSEL exclaims . . .] [Intertitle] “My dearest literature! Our love is truly a love for the ages!” [LITERATURE kisses DAMSEL’s hand, which she then bashfully withdraws. LITERATURE then gestures offscreen, saying . . .] [Intertitle] “I must bid you adieu, my love—the library awaits!” [LITERATURE departs, leaving DAMSEL to bask in the afterglow of his visitation. DAMSEL returns to her reading, when a cigarette filter intrudes into the frame, startling her.] [Cut to FILM, a roguish dandy of a fellow dressed in undershirt and suspenders. He takes a dramatic drag from his cigarette and excitedly beckons to DAMSEL, stating . . .] [Intertitle] “My fair lady, you have the face of a movie star!” [DAMSEL slams her book down on the bench, shaking her lace fan angrily at FILM. She responds . . .] [Intertitle] “Oh Film, not you again! You know that I’m already betrothed!” [Unfazed, FILM retorts . . .] [Intertitle] “But Literature is so stuffy! Don’t you want to MOVE with me?” [FILM proceeds to engage in a series of seductive movements, an erotic dance that catches the carnal attention of our DAMSEL, who becomes increasingly flush and disheveled. DAMSEL exclaims . . .] [Intertitle] “. . .” [LITERATURE wanders back into the scene, his business at the library apparently concluded. Aghast at the display unfolding before him, he confirms the goings-on with the aid of his monocle, tosses his walking stick to the ground, and shouts . . .] [Intertitle] “WHAT is the meaning of this?!?” [The DAMSEL hastily rushes to clutch at her now open shawl. She pleads . . .] [Intertitle] “It’s NOT what you think!” [FILM rolls his eyes at the whole business, then defiantly confronts LITERATURE, saying . . .] [Intertitle] “HA! Your time is done, Literature. The Lady is with ME!” [An agitated LITERATURE lectures the DAMSEL, pacing around the bench and gesticulating wildly, eventually making his way to the spot where FILM is standing. He exclaims . . .] [Intertitle] “You DARE waste your time with this rogue, this scoundrel, this . . .” [Sneaking up behind FILM, LITERATURE pulls off the rather unlikely act of placing devil’s horns atop his rival’s head. He finishes his lecture . . .] [Intertitle] “. . . DEVIL?!?” [FILM angrily snatches the horns from his head, throwing them to the ground, raising his fists, and responding . . .] [Intertitle] “I’m only a devil in the sheets! I’m a fighter in the streets!” [LITERATURE rises to the challenge, tossing his walking cane and monocle to the side, assuming a fighting stance, and saying . . .] [Intertitle] “Very well, then. EN GARDE!” [Fight theme begins playing. A series of shots ensue: FILM and LITERATURE fighting one another, the DAMSEL looking on in equal measures of horror and titillation. Our kind-natured DAMSEL reaches her breaking point, gestures with her fan and screams . . .] [Intertitle] “Gentlemen—STOP IT!” [Dramatic violin theme begins playing. FILM and LITERATURE both calm down from their primal rage. The DAMSEL pleads to the both of them, saying . . .] [Intertitle] “I love you BOTH! Can’t we make this work?” [Main piano theme resumes. FILM jauntily snaps his suspenders, claiming . . .] [Intertitle] “I must admit, all the best film plots come from books . . .” [LITERATURE likewise concedes the point, admitting . . .] [Intertitle] “And if I’m being honest, I DO love seeing Silas Marner come to life on the silver screen . . .” [With a knowing glance back to LITERATURE, FILM suggestively retorts . . .] [Intertitle] “Personally, I’ve always been partial to Oscar Wilde.” [A shocked LITERATURE loses his monocle, followed by a series of flirtatious volleys between FILM and LITERATURE. A befuddled DAMSEL looks confusedly at the camera. LITERATURE then asks FILM . . .] [Intertitle] “So . . . a Devil in the sheets, you say?” [LITERATURE offers FILM his arm, who accepts. The two then wander along the lake to pursue their new romantic adventure. A nonplussed DAMSEL, now alone, can only respond . . .] [Intertitle] “Who woulda thunk it?” [DAMSEL follows this sentiment with a more resolute statement, saying . . .] [Intertitle] “Maybe I should call up my first love, Lady Radio!” [DAMSEL picks up her fan and book, walking away with newfound determination.] [Closing card] The End [in script, flanked by illustration of winged devil] [Credits card] Key Grip, General Tso. Costumes, Casablanca Vintage. Catering, Blue Jay Diner. Shot on location, Spring Grove Cemetery, Cincinnati, Ohio. [Credits card, cont.] Directed by Cecile B. DeVille. A production of 100 Years of New Media Pedagogy. [Fade out. Sound of projector stopping.] Media assets used in this production listed in Production Notes.